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Joke of the Day

"What's it like to have a social life? Asking for a friend."

"Are you ignorant or apathetic ? I don't know, and I don't care..."

"What do you call a woman who thinks she has the best rack in the world? [oc] Boobcocky"

"Mimes give each other the unsilent treatment."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"*gets into trouble* Trouble: Wrong hole."

"Hillary Clinton You're* Fired!"

"Girlfriend is having trouble opening an oyster at dinner. She hands it to me to open. Just as I pry it open, I say, ""The easiest way to open this is with a little mussel"""

"Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them..."

"[Sexting] ""So, what are you wearing?"" A nice blouse and a light sweater. Sensible shoes."