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Joke of the Day

"Why do lawyers like women with large tits and tight pussies? Because they have big mouths and little dicks."

"I accidentally kicked my cat off of the bed while adjusting my blankets. Now he's in the corner sadly humming a Sarah McLachlan song."

"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""

"Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back."

"A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him ""Are you a bear?"" ""Yes"" ""What are you doing at the movies ?"" ""Well I liked the book!"""

"How often do I make chemistry jokes? Periodically. I made one yesterday, but it had no reaction."

"Two drivers crash into each other. They both finish writing their texts before getting out of their cars to inspect the damage"

"Patient: Doc what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth? Dentist: Don't smile in a bad neighborhood."

"They say 1in every 3 people cheat in a relationship. I'm not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend."

"It's all fun and games It's was all fun and games until Trump got elected. Now it's a riot!"