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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: [slams fist on dash] NO, WHY?! Cop: Settle down sir Me: [marries, has kids, gives up ambitions] Cop: ..."

"Did you hear about the lady that had breast implants made of oak? It would be nice if this joke had a punch line, woodentit?"

"What is impotence? Impotence is when your mind starts to be a dick and your dick is philosophising."

"How do you stop an Ethiopian tank with a gun? Shoot the people pushing it."

"The next iPhone won't be a failure In fact, it'll be a huge 6S."

"""class... raise your hand if you know what ""getting laid"" means"" *room of 4th graders is silent* *kid with heelys raises hand*"

"What's the ugliest tree in the world? Yew"

"What do you call a deceptive feline? A lion. Get it guys lol? Lion ~ Lying I'll pounce myself out now..."

"Finally loses virginity. 3 more years left in prison."

"*sees a car with a ""how am i driving"" bumper sticker* *calls the phone number* ME: buddy i think it's with a steering wheel"