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Joke of the Day

"""class... raise your hand if you know what ""getting laid"" means"" *room of 4th graders is silent* *kid with heelys raises hand*"

Next Joke
 
"There is nothing more enjoyable than watching a child being chased by a seagull."
"Pluto wanted to throw Earth a birthday party on New Year's Eve But he forgot to planet"
"Party Questions by age 1-12: Will there be a Bouncy House? 17-20: Will there be alcohol? 22-27: Theres no kids right? 30+ Who's bday is it?"
"SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING 1. ENTHUSIASM 2. DISILUSIONMENT 3. PANIC 4. SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY 5. PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT 6. PRAISE AND HONORS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS"
"I never judge people by the color of their skin. That's fucking stupid. I judge them by their cell phones."
"I shot my first turkey today... ..It sure scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section"
"Don't ""psh"" me, Coca Cola I just opened."
"Why do androids go to Africa to party? Because Botswana have fun."
"[end of long conversation] HER: let me give you my number ME: great! [forgot name] how do you spell your name? HER: ME: HER: k-i-m ME:"