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Joke of the Day

"A couple's having breakfast. He says, ""Were you faking it last night?"" She says, ""No, I was really asleep."""

Next Joke
 
"Thinking about opening a lingerie shop for plus size women ....... Gonna call it KING THONG"
"A masochist and a sadist are doing their thing... The masochist says: ""Hit me"" and the sadist answers: ""no..."""
"Arguing w him is like playing Pictionary w/ the person who draws one weird little shape and just keeps circling it over and over and over."
"With all this media coverage about the clowns... I'll be so glad when the election is over."
"I've been working out at Starbucks lately. Hitting the french press."
"Wanna come back to my place & watch some p0rn on my 60 flat screen mirror?"
"How many Hilary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None- they prefer to be kept in the dark"
"Parenting Pro Tip: If a 5 year old says he needs a potty stop, or he's going to take a dump in the minivan, he's not making idle threats"
"How do you comfort a grammar nazi? Pat him or her on the back and say, ""Their, they're..."""