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Joke of the Day
"What happens when the USSR gets back together? A Soviet Reunion."
Next Joke
"Took the shell off my racing snail to see if I could make it go faster... Just made it a bit sluggish."
"My neighbor won't give me a straightforward answer, he's always beating around the bush. Every time I ask why he just says ""fuck you Gerald, it's my bush and I'll masturbate here if I want to"""
"I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....... I will keep you posted."
"Yo mamma's ghost is so fat... ...even the priest couldn't exorcise her! https://twitter.com/YoMommasGhost BONUS: Yo mamma's ghost is so dumb, she thought a deadlift was a haunted elevator."
"~Little Mermaid family meeting~ Ariel.... We found this hidden in your top drawer. *places sea cucumber on table*"
"There's a guy at the office today wearing full camo. At least I think so... I haven't seen him in a while."
"*trains 1 million soldier ants* *gets carried to work*"
"What did the Pencile say to the other pencil? what did the pencile say to the other pencil the answer is........... Your Looking Sharp :)"
"If you see me longingly looking at you at the pub, i'm just wondering if you're going to eat all those nachos?"