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Joke of the Day

"I decided to treat my girlfriend, but she ended up dying... Apparently ""cancer"" is best left to ""medical professionals"""

"Why does Batman think so highly about himself? Bruce Wayne."

"What do you get when someone teases you with ice cream then takes it away? Blue Bells."

"Damn girl, are you Miley Cyrus? I fucking hate you."

"What do you call a guy who fucks himself? [Ethan Hawke](http://i.imgur.com/tXrW7HU.jpg)."

"Cute Pirate Joke What is a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? Well, you might think that it'd be Arrrrby's, but they are actually quite fond of Long John Silvers."

"I was too late for the ribeye special at the supermarket. Such a big missed steak."

"I used to be be indecisive.... ....now I'm not so sure."

"*slips the attendant $20* ""make sure you pick me out a good one"" Sir this is a daycare... ""uh huh *winks* a daycare"""

"Why did they have to call Aquaman Aquaman Because they couldn't call him Seaman"