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Joke of the Day

"*slips the attendant $20* ""make sure you pick me out a good one"" Sir this is a daycare... ""uh huh *winks* a daycare"""

"What do you call a tribal poet? Shake-A-Spear!"

"What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room? An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral."

"85% of baseball's appeal is good weather and alcohol."

"Driving today I kept seeing protest signs. They all said ""End Road Work."""

"A girl phoned me the other day and said...""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"[Last Supper] Jesus: *holds up bread* This is my body *holds up wine* This is my blood And this is Sparta! *kicks Judas into a pit*"

"Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom."

"So I was feeling down the other day... My friend wanted to cheer me up, so he told me 10 jokes to make me feel better. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other... How do we drive this thing?"