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Joke of the Day

"I was too late for the ribeye special at the supermarket. Such a big missed steak."

"So this guy asked me why I was stirring my coffee with my dick... I told him, ""Shut up, I ordered a small for a reason!"""

"'Sorry officer but how was I to know that weird noise my car was making was a bicycle stuck in my mudflap?'"

"Why am I still hearing noises from the class? Because you still have ears, teacher."

"Did you grow up on a farm? Because you sure know how to raise cock"

"Here's a long joke.. Trumps candidacy"

"When I do laundry I tell people I'm going to 1943 Cause I got to separate the whites and colors"

"Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology."

"What do you call a math teacher that assigns graphs with holes and assymptotes on tests? Asshole."

"What idiot called it a book shelf instead of a know ledge?"