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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar... his face gets bruised, his phone shatters on the concrete, and the Pokemon gets away."

"Rest in peace David Bowie I love your knives!"

"China's stock market is down again We should have seen it coming. The red flags were everywhere."

"Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius."

"Instead of the death penalty they should make prisoners nice and comfortable and then tell them that the remote control is across the room."

"She said I have a face only a mother could love. I said ""that's not very nice, mom."""

"Stormtroopers never miss. They're just trained to fire a 21 shot salute to celebrate the commencement of every firefight."

"The other day a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."

"What kind of exercise did Jesus do? Crossfit"

"What do you call someone who is sexually attracted to a crocodile? A crocodile!"