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Joke of the Day
"What do you call someone who is sexually attracted to a crocodile? A crocodile!"
Next Joke
"These need to be written. Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes? A: A piiig. Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh? A: Santa Claus walking backwards."
"After a few days without my phone, I've learned what's really important in life. My phone."
"When you say you don't feel good ""Are you pregnant?"" -people without kids ""Do you have to poop?"" -people with kids"
"[tied up by the mafia] any last requests? ""yes, let me go"" [still gets killed despite finding a loophole cuz the mafia arent very nice]"
"[speaking to a guy who looks nothing like Ed Sheeran] ""Hey man, do people ever say you look like Ed Sheeran?"" ""No"" ""Didn't think so"""
"A bear walks into a bar the bartender said ""What would you like?"" and the bear said ""I want... a beer please"" then the bartender said ""Why the big paws??"""
"Why are there no nice cars in heaven? Because abortions float."
"I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I'd resemble a crack addict."
"Fans of two famous writers watched them both compete in an archery contest... Talk about a target audience."