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Joke of the Day

"I love being American. Just the other day I ate half my meal, got even fatter, then threw the rest away because f*ck starving people."

"Black Whopper at BK You hear BK is now selling a black whopper? They are already cancelling it because it will never work and everyone wants it for free ...... lmao"

"Why do aliens always disembark via ramp? Do they have problems with stairs? Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible?"

"Saw some cows just standing around in a field doing absolutely nothing. Get a job, hippies."

"Why is ""jizz"" such a great word? Because of how nicely it rolls off your tongue"

"What game do enemy naval officers play in the sauna? Battleshvitz"

"I finally got the confidence to be a peeping tom For the longest time, I was just beating around the bush"

"What disease do elderly dinosaurs get? Jurassic Parkinsons"

"HER: Impress me. ME: I own a record label- HER: Ooooooo ME: er. A record labelER. It makes labels for my Abba vinyls."

"I think I speak for Earth when I say that I'm ready for Justin Bieber to turn to hard drugs and squander his wealth, eventually losing fame."