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Joke of the Day

"Robber: Give me your valuables Me: *hands him piece of paper* Robber: What's this? Me: My Netflix password."

"My husband thinks it's really weird I only like green bananas and I think it's really weird I have a husband."

"$100 Bill A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? B: No, I was standing on it."

"I almost got knocked out by a couple of celebrities recently.... Talk about seeing stars."

"2016 started with the death of a gorilla ...and is ending with the death of a Guerilla"

"I like your name Thanks I got it for my birthday"

"Helen Hunt but only when Helen hungry."

"Some hipsters were camping next to me and asked for help starting a fire. So, I chased one around until his corduroys burst into flames."

"Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win? Everybody."

"""This birthday cake certainly is crunchy."" ""Maybe you should spit out the plate!"""