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Joke of the Day

"fill in the blank 1.) ""There once was a man from nan-tuck it, His balls were as big as a bucket"" 2.) ""What is the difference between a whore and a boxer"""

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"If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza."
"Too black for casuals So we were having sex and my girlfriend asked if she could roleplay as a 14 year old teenager and i said : -what the fuck , u will be 14 in 2 years anyway"
"People who live in stone houses can throw all the glass they want."
"tried to sign up for Obamacare via my SEGA Dreamcast web browser only to learn its not supported. This is 1,000x worse than Benghazi."
"When an intoxicated person is blabbering, 60% of whatever he/she says is true."
"I sweat less when I wear sunglasses ... Because I feel cooler"
"Loan officer: And what is the purpose of your loan, Sir? Me: Whole Foods. I shop at Whole Foods."
"Friendly Competition My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more."
"The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations."