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Joke of the Day

"When I see people jogging outside I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting ""Eye of the Tiger"" just to give them motivation."

"I'm dating a supermodel with hemiparesis. She's not half-bad."

"I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands... Clunk. These are heavy."

"What is the best part of living in Flint You get free Orange Juice"

"What does Harry Potter call his penis? His Magic Johnson."

"What did Trump say to Obama? Orange is new black [p.s. - not my original, my friend told me this one]"

"[Soldiers regrouping] Where's Jim? He went M.I.A. *Cut to Jim* All I wanna do *bang bang bang bang* *reloading noise* And shoot enemies "

"What do you get when you mix birth Control and Lsd? A good trip without kids."

"That boy is so dirty the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon."

"What America thinks of Donald Trump is what the world thinks of America."