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Joke of the Day

"Why does nobody play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs"

"Did you know the average performer can subsist off of one compliment for multiple nanoseconds?"

"I've got the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo."

"Toilet paper and my iPhone have a lot in common... both are essential when I take a s$it."

"Also, to all the people with egg avatars... have you thought about where you'll hide on Easter yet?"

"I like the idea of almond milk, but then I can't get the image out of my head of someone milking a nut."

"What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 300 degrees in the oven."

"I've just been charged with stocking a chicken. I'm hoping to get it reduced."

"How do you make the best Harlem Shake video? You throw a flashbang into a room of epileptic children."

"A successful relationship is one in which one person shuts up when the other is right."