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Joke of the Day

"I like the idea of almond milk, but then I can't get the image out of my head of someone milking a nut."

"What do you find in the Pope's toilet? Holy shit!"

"Rappers, you don't have to tell them to wave their hands like they don't care. They're millennials: they already don't care."

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa."

"How do you throw a space party? You planet!"

"It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end."

"What's the difference between gay men and a refrigerator? Fridges don't fart when you pull the meat out."

"A billionaire, a clown, and a presidential candidate walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""How's it going, Donald?"""

"I'm sick of this one horse town *moves to two horse town* No, no, this is too much"

"What is long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine."