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Joke of the Day

"Who are the greatest financiers in the bible? Noah, all his stock was afloat when the rest of the world was in liquidation, and Pharaohs' daughter, who went to the bank and found a little prophet."

Next Joke
 
"Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel? Because he didn't like DC..."
"You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature? *empties 326 cans of hairspray outside* Knock that shit off!"
"What's the smartest piece of lab equipment? A graduated cylinder."
"Topical! What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection? He votes!"
"Why do Republicans hate lotion? Because the directions say to apply it liberally."
"Why did the narcissistic cannibal end up in the hospital? Because he was so full of himself."
"What did the Ottoman Sultan do when he got home from campaigning? He got his dick out for his Haram bae's."
"[accidentally calls teacher ""mom""] MY BRAIN: shit, play it cool. say something. ME: what's for dinner tonight BRAIN: what"
"Speed dating? You mean pizza delivered in less than 30 mins..."