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Joke of the Day

"What did the Ottoman Sultan do when he got home from campaigning? He got his dick out for his Haram bae's."

"Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card."

"Using zero-ply toilet paper, aka the cardboard tube"

"The most active user on reddit: [deleted]. Seriously this guy is everywhere."

"They say money doesn't grow on trees So what are hedgefunds then?"

"*Police arrested two kids* ** Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.**"

"How many Hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies screw in dirty sleeping bags!"

"Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is"

"Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles? He was half nuts!!!"

"""What were you before you came to school boys and girls?"" asked the teacher hoping that someone would say ""babies."" She was disappointed when all the children cried out ""Happy!"""