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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that ancient Egyptians were related by their farts? It's true. They had a toot in common."

"Do scarecrows really work? No, but because they don't register for benefits, they don't count as unemployed either."

"You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes..."

"Do you know why God created atheists? Haha. Good one."

"My favorite way to clean my house is to stop inviting people over so no one sees it's still dirty."

"How do we fix boxing? We can't. It's already fixed."

"[Wakes up in hospital after car crash] I'm afraid we had to amputate both of your feet. ""OMG why?"" You were too tall to fit in the ambulance"

"What did one wall say to the other wall? Lets meet in the corner!"

"My father always said to me ""son it's always best to fight fire with fire""... and that is probably why he was kicked out of the fire service"

"#wecanlandonacometbutwecant let a comet land on us. - Yakov Smirnoff"