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Joke of the Day

"Islam is a peaceful religion A piece over there, a piece over there, a piece over here"

"Thought about growing some impatiens this year... but then decided against it. Takes too long."

"A cunt. What do you call someone who reads the punchline first and then the rest of the joke?"

"First rule of cuddle club: It better lead to sex or you're out of the cuddle club"

"Tonight's going to be a good night if I can get that stupid song out of my head. Otherwise, no."

"Sports: The legal way to buy a black person."

"I'm not against half naked men. At least not as often as I'd like to be."

"Modi/Nawaz Sharif Nawaz Sharif to Modi: ""Congratualations on penetrating into Mars. Whats your next target?"" Modi: Uranus."

"Anti Jokes How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!"

"Boyf said I look really pretty when I'm concentrating...I realised its cos I'm quiet! Either way it's the last time I let him watch me poo"