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Joke of the Day

"I am holding a pre-mature ejaculation club meeting next week Needless to say, You need to come early"

"A kid came to my door last night for trick-or-treat dressed as a pirate... I asked him, ""where are your buckaneers?"" He replied, ""on the side of my buck'en head."""

"Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus? He has an Asgard ...I'll see myself out"

"You can just lean against anything, look down at your phone and toggle between your 1st and 2nd page of apps and you'll look pretty popular."

"Double standars If a woman has sex with lots of men, people call her a slut. If a man does the same, they call him an homosexual."

"[Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style."

"A woman is suing Disney claiming that Frozen is based on her life. She sounds like a cold bitch."

"What do you call a person with a Simpsons fetish? Homer-sexual"

"Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I throw half of them in the garbage I don't want unlucky people working for me"

"How do Jews do a pregnancy test? The woman spreads her legs and the man throws a penny between them - if a hand darts out to snatch it up then it's a positive"