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Joke of the Day

"What did the Mexican say after two houses fell on him? GET OFF ME HOMES!"

"I am a recovering redneck. It's been three weeks since I dry humped a cousin."

"[I open my lunchbox to find flask of whisky] But that means.... [Cut to my 4 y/o opening her lunchbox to find a flask of whisky]"

"Why did the train get hit by lighting? Because of the conductor."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? I have a flesh-eating disease, and it's slowly killing me."

"My dad annoyed my mom calling her ""Mother of 7"" until the day she called him ""Father of 4""."

"A Joke walks into a bar And everyone laughs!"

"Hi, my name is Typo! It's spelled 'Tpyo'."

"Exaggerations... ...went up by a million percent last year."

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. ""To fight the Decepticons,"" I said. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."