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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock... Who's there? Cow. Cow who? COWWHOBUNGA DUDE ._."

"Me: I'm ghosting him. Her: You stopped talking to him? Me: No, I'm showing up when he least expects it and scaring the shit out of him."

"If a giant capture you and me and made a smoothie out of us, what would it taste like? It would taste like ""just us""."

"Making cakes Mom: I need to go to the store to buy some molasses. Dad: Why don't you just dig under the front yard?"

"Hi, I'm hosting a party with dinner & drinks on Friday 14th Feb for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't cum let me know."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar Don't worry you'll soon change !"

"Am I...are we... is this a date? *elevator opens & he leaves*"

"The only reason the term 'Ladies first' was invented was for the guy to check out the woman's ass."

"*at bank* I always think it's funny when I go to the bank because my last name is Banks Teller: ""haha. First name?"" *Pulls out gun* Robin"

"What's a best friend? One who goes out and gets two blowjobs, then comes back and gives his buddy one"