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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? It was a small medium at large."

"What do you call a rabbit in a beanie and listening to vinyl? A Hopster."

"Nice that after 17 years of marriage I can still have a sex dream about my wife. Last night the role of my wife was played by Jessica Alba."

"Mickey Mantle knew 2 things. Drinking, and how to play drunk baseball."

"What the difference between a fridge and a virgina? Fridge don't fart when you take the meat out"

"How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season? Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone."

"How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water."

"[class trip] I'm farmer Joe, this is my farm DO U HAVE COWS? Yes, it's a dairy farm DO U HAVE WHALES? Kid, why wouldn't we have whales?"

"If someone stands you up and doesn't call, stay positive. They could be dead."

"Inspirational Tweet: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with ""daaaaad I have to peeeeee"""