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Joke of the Day

"Suitable for British consumption I just heard the UK strawberry picking championships has been won by a woman with no legs. Jammy cunt"

"When I masturbate at home... I'm at homecoming."

"I went to the movies yesterday, and I met the most insensitive homophobe there I mean, just the mere sight of me masturbating sent him off on a rant about ""morals"" and ""his children"" and ""security""."

"I dropped my iPhone under the bed once so I get it, moms that lift cars off their babies, I get it."

"Please ignore this status..... I am standing in public alone and I don't want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting."

"What is an alto's favorite drink? High C!"

"What do you do if you start seeing a little glowing green man Walk across the street"

"What is a gay man's favorite vacation site? He loves to go to Bankok."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was bblamdiffergmunmnumblldpbdb."

"I tried to tell my son the joke about the donkey eating corn. He said he didn't want to hear another corny ass joke out of me."