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Joke of the Day

"Attractive. Brainy. Romantic. Faithful. Makes good food. Gives great head. -- Online dating profile of a male praying mantis."

"First date *dont let him know you been stalking him Him- so my brother just got deployed Me: Josh or Brian?"

"What is a zombie's favorite restaurant? Subway: East flesh!"

"Just overheard the phrase, ""pregnant with a baby,"" and secretly wondered what the other options were."

"One can't fly, but a toucan."

"Why did the Grim Reaper go to the shoe repair shop? To get some soles!"

"What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on Ant? Nothing, Pink Panther doesn't talk!"

"I'm not saying I'm antisocial, but even when someone asks me how I'm doing I just tell them to Google it."

"My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful Well they do say that love is blind !"

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died"