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Joke of the Day

"My problem is I don't like working out in front of people or when I'm alone."

"Robots If robots were somehow about to sexually reproduce, they wouldn't have to change much. I mean they already have a binary system."

"My wife drew her eyebrows on a bit too high. When I told her, she looked surprised."

"I work in a bar called Advice. I get really good tips."

"What's Rolf Harris' favourite chord? A Minor"

"Did you hear about the amazing new prosthetic device for paraplegics? It's called a Vegetable Stand."

"Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine? Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'"

"What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women."

"What are homeless ducks always asking for? A lil bit of quack"

"""Sir... your family is dead. APRIL FOOLS!!!! Kidding!!! Your son made it! He's in a coma! OMG You shoulda seen your face!"" - Worst ER doc"