181702
Joke of the Day
"I work in a bar called Advice. I get really good tips."
Next Joke
"I would like to tell you about how I beat the Elite Four's Pokemon using only Luvdisc... But just a disclaimer, that battle is not for the faint of heart."
"Should I bring anything to your party besides pronounced social anxiety and no food"
"Saw a chameleon today, so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one."
"I like my beef how I like my misbehaving teenagers... Grounded."
"They say dog is a man's best friend and diamonds are a girl's best friend but My best friends are cows because steak and handbags."
"They're dying the Chicago River blue in honor of the Cubs win... It's the first time it will be blue since the French got there."
"[creating humans] God: They will have a powerful immune system Assistant: Boring God: ok some will die from eating a peanut A: Nice, nice"
"My wife told me to stop listening to Wonderwall with the volume all the way up And I said MAYYYBEEEE"
"If I had a dollar for every gender I could possibly be... I'd have $2.00."