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Joke of the Day

"What did the homophobic dad say when he heard his gay son was in a coma? At least he's a vegetable now instead of a fruit."

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"Time flies when you throw clocks."
"As a female carpenter, I'm often asked if I prefer... To get screwed or nailed..."
"What do you do when you meet a robotic genie? You mech a wish."
"When I wake up every morning, things always go well. I'm like the optimistic amputee who always starts his day off on the right foot."
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day... Teach a man to microwave a fish and he'll lose the respect of all his co-workers."
"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb *thats not funny*"
"There's no 'i' in 'team' but there's 7 of them in... ""Everyone in this office is an idiot & I work better by myself."""
"a guy goes to see a therapist And tell him he keeps having 2 reacurring dreams, one night I'm a wigwam, next time a teepee. Doctor says thats easy, you're just two tents."
"You know why birds sing in the mornings? Because they don't have to go to fucking work"
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