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Joke of the Day
"Time flies when you throw clocks."
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"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Well I guess none; they just put the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them."
"I like my women like I like my beard Big, bushy, and sitting on my face."
"r/house ... ... is in the middle of the street."
"GENIE: and for your first wish? ME: I wish that the end of every bag of chips was the start of another GENIE: holy shit!"
"Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan."
"In the words of a famous troublemaker I have a dream."
"If you're class of 2020.... then you must have a vision for the future."
"Q: Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide? A: Because it was too cold out tide."
"What do you call a hairpiece on an Asian guy? ...an Oriental Rug."