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Joke of the Day

"I'm going bananas... That's what I tell the bananas when I'm leaving."

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"""Bitches always be conforming to unhealthy standards set and perpetuated by the media."" - socially conscious rapper"
"I know that as parent you're supposed to listen to your kids but most of what they say is such horseshit"
"Judge: For the crimes you have committed you will go to prison for 10 years Me: That's a long sentence! Judge: Ok - ""you get 10 years"""
"Why would peter pan make a terrible pilot Because he'd neverland."
"My wife with a hearing aid died RIP headphone users"
"Loooooser I am A Looser. Really You are?"
"Apparently the owners of Aldi and Lidl were really brothers. Presumably Aldi was the alder one and Lidl the Lidl one."
"Why did Jon snow stand in line at the Apple store? For the watch!"
"When I asked my friend how he's doing, he said ""man, I'm just happy to be breathing"". I told him he should have bigger aspirations."