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Joke of the Day

"Apparently the owners of Aldi and Lidl were really brothers. Presumably Aldi was the alder one and Lidl the Lidl one."

"Yo mama is so old. Yo mama is so old that in her history class they just wrote down what they where doing."

"*slips a 20* How about a private dance ""Okay let's go"" *heads to private room* ""You ready?"" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*"

"[dinner w/friends] ""How long you two been married?"" It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time."

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods knows how to pick a good driver."

"What does a nine-volt battery and a woman's asshole have in common? Eventually, you're going to put your tongue on both."

"I'm single by choice. Just not my choice."

"Why are powerpuff girls sad? [Nsfw] Because they neither have boyfriends nor fingers"

"My friend was writing checks that his butt can't cash... it's because his butt didn't have a valid id"

"I once made a belt out of herbs. It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme."