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Joke of the Day

"Judge: For the crimes you have committed you will go to prison for 10 years Me: That's a long sentence! Judge: Ok - ""you get 10 years"""

"""Look at me! I'm a ninja!"" - 4yo not getting the whole ninja concept yet."

"Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending "

"A bunch of Jewish folks walk into a bar... Mitzva and celebrate Oscar's thirteenth bithday."

"How does the Pope get around New York City? Mass Transit!"

"Why did the plant say after being watered? ""I'm not hungry exactly, but I could still use a light snack""."

"Finally watching Michael Bay's TMNT. Best part so far is a dude answering a Skype call and yelling ""How did you get this number?!?"""

"What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand? A community centre"

"What's the difference between Ireland and America? When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing."

"Me: Hey, I'm going to say a knock knock joke, but you have to start me off! Them: Okay.. knock knock Me: Who's there? Them: *confused silence*"