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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why is Clinton prone to losing his voice? A: He keeps having to eat his words."

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"What do you call parents who teach abstinence only? Grandma and grandpa."
"I was sitting in calculus class, and the teacher asked us how we can ideally take the derivative of a logarithm... I said,"" I like my logarithms like my women, all natural""."
"Dear grapefruit, putting the name of a better fruit in your name doesn't change the fact that you taste like a lemon's butthole."
"What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger? Someone who sprays graffiti on chain link fences."
"What do you call a corny joke? A maize zing!!!"
"4-year-old: Is there candy in that drawer? Me: No. 4: Can I check? Me: Do you have a warrant?"
"Working out is like sex It's the best way to make your family larger."
"why is a divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it."
"How much money do porn stars make? A fuckload."