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Joke of the Day

"Have you guys heard what kind of oil Fort McMurray is into these days? Turmoil"

"Michael J Fox and Taylor Swift dated, but broke up Don't worry, they're both going to shake, shake it off."

"Why don't black people like pirates? they pronounce everything with a hard ""aargh"""

"What are we gonna do with all this extra cocaine? The previous sentence has never been spoken in the history of earth"

"Sorry I went down on your moms sister at your BBQ... I guess you could say I'm... [lowers shades] An aunt-eater."

"Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank? So you always have access to cold hard cash..."

"We are probably the first generation that will have our user names on the headstone"

"I'm an antisocial-psychic. I can see ahead of time that I won't want to talk to you."

"16 and pregnant should be followed by 26 and sucking c**k for crack."

"What do you call a dinosaur who knows how to please its woman? A Lickalottapus"