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Joke of the Day

"Mom, is this skirt too short? Yes. Your balls are showing, Robert."

"I get my hair cut twice a week. Mostly because I love capes."

"It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers."

"A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said ""Free Candy"" on the side. I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet."

"What happened to the guy who grabbed the Viagra instead of the Allegra? ...he had a hard time with his allergies"

"Dam's biggest dilemma... Dammed if I do, damned if I don't."

"If someone offered you drugs, always say yes because drugs are expensive Jk stay in school kids"

"Grandson convinced his grandmother to make an email account. Grandson: Look, Grandma. Somebody already sent you an email. *(Click)* Grandmother: Why would I want to enlarge my penis?"

"I take spiders outside in stead of killing them because it's not their fault that I'm scared of them. I do however, scream while doing so."

"What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent? Squeaky clean clothes."