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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet? A: A trombone will bend before it breaks."

"I think a gay guy hit on me in a bar... He was passing behind me and asked ""Do you mind if I push in your stool?"""

"The other giraffes watched and giggled as Herbert got to button number 87 on his dress shirt before they told him he started one button off."

"A knock-knock joke that will blow your mind! Knock,Knock... Who is there? ... Old Lady Lahey... ... Old Lady Lahey Who? ... Holy shit, I didn't know you could yodel!"

"I wonder if the Cabbage Patch Kids grew up to be bastards & whores that left their offspring in random gardens like their parents did."

"I REALIZED THAT I AM THE VICTIM After ten years of marriage, the wife asks her husband: - Honey, are you by nature a winner or a loser? - Honey, over the years I realized that I am the victim ..."

"I'm making a device where if you push an already lit elevator button, you get Hepititis C"

"Could you Christian rock singers please invest in a thesaurus. I think God is fully aware by now that you think he is ""great"" and ""awesome."""

"Why did the homeless women keep flies in a plastic bottle? That was her vibrator."

"Wouldn't it be weird if you met someone from twitter in real life and all they did is say random one-liners every few minutes?"