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Joke of the Day

"You should always stay the night with a farmer's daughter... Their morning routine begins with a cock in their ear."

"What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays? Their bigotry."

"Why did the Titanic have a hard time getting a date? It couldn't break the ice."

"I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It's like they don't know I plan on cropping them out later."

"What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ? Bike carbonate of soda !"

"I started wearing nicotine patches as a way of easing myself into a smoking habit."

"Most of the lies I tell aren't even true."

"Something weird just happened. My captain just told me Bravo Zulu for a job well done, and then abruptly fired me. How am I supposed to get an explosive tug with my dick in my pants?"

"My colour blind friend told me there were only two kinds of people in the world. I told him to stop seeing things in black and white."

"I was going to major in cosmetology.. ..but then they shut down the space program.. idiots."