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Joke of the Day

"Teacher asks: What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife.Student replies: Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan."

"If homosexuals come out of the closet, do necrophiliacs come out of the casket?"

"i put grape soda in my mini super soaker and i'm squirting it into my mouth. this is how you turn a monday, into a funday."

"The asterisk was invented by someone seeing a cat's butt and thinking that it would make a great punctuation mark. It was almost a catastrophe."

"I call my penis Valyrian Steel.... Because it slays pale, icy bitches and no one really knows how it works."

"This morning, 2 evangelists knocked on the door selling Jesus. If they would've thrown in a Slap Chop, I would've been sold."

"I like my coffee how I like my slaves free"

"Oh... Oh dear... it looks like my grandmother's embroidered pillow may have stolen your tweet."

"What do you call pasta in a poor neighborhood? Spaghetto"

"Pogo, Radio So two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. To the left of them is a sink. One of the polar bears turns on the bath water, and the other says, ""Pogo, radio."""