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Joke of the Day

"Teacher asks: What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife.Student replies: Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan."

"How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out? Hide their trainers."

"Bottom line: parenting interferes with my ability to be lazy."

"Rey should really make herself a new lightsaber. The one she has now has 100% hand loss rate. \\\_()_/ "

"We all know what this means It's just 4 trumpets! Or ITS JOHN CENA Sorry."

"Why did the Origami Artist never win a poker match? Because he will always fold."

"What do you call a hypochondriac dinosaur? Tri-serepax."

"""Oh, really?"" one man to another: A: ""You know, my daughter has married an Irishman"" B: ""Oh, really?"" A: ""No, O'Reilly"""

"Why don't old ladies receive orals sex? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"The first thing I do in the shower is wash my asshole. Just wanna get that shit out of the way."