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Joke of the Day

"We all know what this means It's just 4 trumpets! Or ITS JOHN CENA Sorry."

"An invisible man married an invisible woman... Their kids were nothing to look at either."

"(after bedtime) 3:DADDY COME INTO MY ROOM! Me: go to sleep. 3:YOU HAVE TO COME IN BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU M: yes you can 3:NO I CAN'T"

"A boy goes to the drug store to buy some condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks him 'No', the boy says, 'she isn't *that* ugly'"

"What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months? I think we should sea otter people."

"I can totally keep secrets! It's the people I tell them to that can't!"

"Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, ""Your husband will die a horrible violent death."" Hilary asks, ""Will I be acquitted?"""

"I just heard a beautiful poem... ""I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig, we all dig."" I'll admit it's not a very *beautiful* poem, but it sure is deep."

"My ass is going through some serious shit right now The reverse is also true"

"A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox. Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits."