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Joke of the Day

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."

"What do you call a number that can't keep still? A roamin' numeral"

"I heard they're selling heart-burns that only take two minutes to cook now! I think they were called, Hot-pockets?"

"If the zombie apocalypse hits and you all need a twist tie, my mom has everyone covered."

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A tomato."

"Ralph once had an IQ of 18, ... but then it fell asleep. edit: ~~they~~ it"

"Once a month, women go completely crazy ...for about 30 days."

"I'm looking for a book on lack of empathy', I asked the librarian. Do I look like I give a fcuk?', he snapped. ""Yes, that's the one', I said."

"Why do fat women always have a cat? In case they run out of food."

"Hilary Clinton is elected president ... FTFY"