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Joke of the Day

"Today a Gender Studies student asked me how our society viewed lesbians Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer. Time to update my display to 4K."

"50 SHADES OF... Theatre owners have been piping in citrus scent after each showing of 50 Shades of Grey. Because everyone knows citrus is best at eliminating fish odors"

"Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!"

"I farted in my wallet. Now i have gas money"

"First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?"

"Femi-Nazi Moderator Free speech to hell"

"How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cause it's definitely not 4. My basement is still dark & I'm running out of room."

"'Here's a good book' said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. 'How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.' 'No thank you' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's got two heads already. . .'"

"It's a pleasure to see you and another not to see."

"Parents tell you their baby's weight because they have no other information. They can't say ""Meet Jim, a free spirit who's into yodeling."""