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Joke of the Day

"When I go shopping with my wife she thinks I'm bored because I'm looking at my phone the whole time. But that's exactly why I'm not bored."

"How to tell the difference between a Crocodile and a Alligator Well one you see in a while, and the other you see later."

"A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy."

"Just overheard a guy say he was buying a MacBook so he doesn't have to worry about the Ebola virus. What."

"""97% of the world's population is homosexual."" - survey based on YouTube comments"

"If we all just agree that we're fine, we'll never again have to ask each other how we are."

"Getting carded at the liquor store is better than getting liquored at the card store."

"Last time I got some ass My finger went through the toilet paper"

"Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere? Because they don't have legs to walk, man."

"I have a file on my computer named Hillary Clinton When I tried to open it, I got a message saying ' file is too corrupt'"