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Joke of the Day

"A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy."

"What do you call a SWAT team with Snoop Dogg? A Blunt force"

"Why has the Trump circle jerk gotten so out of control? Because centipedes have 100 arms."

"I really didn't want to go the dermatologist... ...but my dad told me to face my fears! *thought of this while washing my face*"

"We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

"I hired a PR team. They said the public would like me more if I stopped executing people. I executed the PR team."

"ME: seen the loch ness monster? HER: it's not real M: *unzips pants* wanna bet? H: *rolls eyes* sure M: k i'll pee and then we'll google it"

"Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan"

"What do robots dip in salsa? Microchips"

"What do you call a woman with no clitoris? It doesn't matter, she's not going to come."