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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life"

"I like to end all my phone calls with ""Ok, I'll see you later on at the party!"" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out."

"I ate so many chickpeas... I falafel!"

"If you make an oriental dizzy.... does he become disoriented?"

"[wakes up from a 15 year coma] sweet, x files still goin strong"

"What do you call an apology written using dots and dashes? Re-morse code"

"I hate arrogant people....It's like they think they're better than me...No one is better than me!"

"Things I use my car for, from most to least: 1)Tweeting while parked 2)Snacking 3)Transporting bugs that can fly but are lazy 4)Driving"

"All alcohol will make my clothes fall off... tequila just makes that happen in public."

"I don't know what's longer: a microwave minute or a treadmill minute..."