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Joke of the Day
"[wakes up from a 15 year coma] sweet, x files still goin strong"
Next Joke
"Guys, if you have to point your toes to put your pants on, those aren't your pants. Give them back to your sister."
"What is it called when a blind deaf man commits murder? Senseless Slaughter..."
"Fall? More like fail [watches as the leaf from a tree gracefully falls to the ground in the beautiful cycle that is nature] loser tree lol"
"You're like my hard drive. Fat and 32"
"Weird, it almost feels like the drive thru workers at McDonald's are being more judgemental of my choices than I am of theirs."
"I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground up and in my freezer."
"Yo momma so fat, the closer you get to her, the slower time passes for you in relation to an observer outside her gravitational pull."
"My friend fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, it was his quick reaction that killed him."
"QA engineer walks into a bar ...(x-post from r/programmerHumor) Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv."