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Joke of the Day

"My son is an ungrateful little shit! I bought him a trampoline for Christmas, but he'd rather sit in his wheelchair and cry."

"TIL You can stimulate your prostate outside just get out there and do it."

"It's ironic how the people that take a picture of themself in the mirror can't see how stupid they look."

"You really shouldn't anthropomorphize in animate objects. They really don't like it."

"Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge. I AM POWER. I AM RESILIENCE. I AM A BRA STRAP."

"Life without women Would be a pain in the ass"

"Why is a horny walrus the same as a Tupperware enthusiast? They're both looking for a tight seal"

"After a long day, I feel like a bicycle Because I'm too tired"

"Michael Bay looks like if cocaine was a person."

"What do you get when you goose a ghost? You get a lot of sheet."