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Joke of the Day

"Why would Gabe Newell be a better world leader than Hitler? There'd be no World War 3."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"What do you call a cat wearing shoes ? Puss in boots !"

"Inspecting mirrors.... ....is a job I can see myself doing."

"The worst part of being named Michael is repeatedly being broken up with via a text that states *drops Mike*"

"What do you call a bunch of unicorns? A unicornucopia."

"Kevin Bacon likes to play Six Degrees of Everybody Else."

"Just passed a cop on a bicycle, I hope I used my turn signal properly or I might get a detention or whatever they hand out"

"When I refer to old relatives passing away I never say ""RIP"" because I don't wants them to rest. I want them to Zumba."

"Everyone lies on their resume but I fear I may have gone overboard with 'immortal' and 'shoots lasers from eyes' and 'hardworking'."