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Joke of the Day

"Just passed a cop on a bicycle, I hope I used my turn signal properly or I might get a detention or whatever they hand out"

"Schrodinger's cat walk into a bar And then it didnt."

"I introduced my new girlfriend to my family last night... ""This is my dad Roger,"" I said, ""And this is my twin brother Dave."" ""Nice to meet you,"" she smiled. ""Who's the oldest?"" I said, ""My dad."""

"lucifer: let's give them free will and see how they choose God: nice lol I'm gunna steal your idea and send you to hell lucifer: what?"

"Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: ""It's a corny show! We just don't get it!"" said one astrophysicist."

"That picture of yourself that you hate now will look better than the best possible picture of you in five years."

"On my birthday, my wife asked me to take her some where she never visited... On my birthday, my wife asked me to take her some where she never visited. So I took her to the kitchen :P"

"Before updating my status l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential."

"Inflation joke Due to inflation, a picture is now worth only 436 words. Thanks obama."

"I didn't give a f*ck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying f*ck."